Little girl in L.A.

I used to think if you had blue toilet water you were IN.  And by IN, I mean rich. Why? What is it about a soap that you put in the back of your toilet that tricks people into thinking you've got money in the bank? It may be that anyone who only has $3 in the bank is buying dinner from the dollar menu and not running to the store for blue replacement soap. I suppose that could be it. Natural human thought process is more concerned with hunger issues than luxuries like Kool-aid looking water you get to pee on. Otherwise, Venezuela would be the main importer of blue Kool-aid and Americans wouldn't be so intent on showing off the color of their toilet water.

Friday at 4pm I offered God $20 to make it 5 o'clock. But God was like, "I don't need $20, I'm God. Plus it's always 5 o'clock where I live." 

Well, it appears that I've gotten too big to keep blogging. This is a facade. I am tired. I am funny. It alternates. And I forget that I've ever started this thing. We'll keep this blog informative since it's been so long, friends. I started a comedy workshop a little over 8 weeks ago and thus began my career. I killed at my 1st show. I will kill at my 2nd (in 2 weeks) and I hope that will set precedent for all shows and eventually because I kill, people will want to pay me to tell them jokes. Until then I will tell you jokes for free. But don't be surprised if in 6 months you log onto my page and it requires a Paypal account to do so. I would never take advantage of you. Only$6/month with unlimited access to my blog. I just hope I remember to write something in it so you get your $6 worth.

The other morning I woke up and felt like I was going to be sick. I immediately considered morning sickness but quickly remembered that that isn't even an unfortunate option. So then I thought maybe I'm going to be the next Virgin Mary, well semi-Virgin. But then knowing me I'd abort and there wouldn't be any baby brother for Jesus. Sorry universe.